Call Now!! I Can't Do This All Day....

It's no secret that I am fascinated with infomercials. The psychology of the "as seen on TV" industry is nothing short of amazing. The formula is simple; take one part everyday task, add some old fashioned ineptitude and sprinkle on some clever marketing. The results are as unmistakable as they are amazing. A multi-billion dollar industry built upon the subtle notion of creating complex solutions to the world's most pedestrian problems.

If I have learned one thing, it is that if you are attempting even the most simple, mundane task (chopping vegetables, hanging clothes in your closet, reaching for things), the chances of you looking completely incompetent while doing so are close to 100%. Because you won't just fail...You will fail in spectacular fashion; in black and white, hair strewn about, barely clinging to your last shred of sanity and dignity.


Is chopping half an ounce of vegetables,wiping up a spill, or deskinning a clove of garlic really worth the trouble? Of course not, that's why we have created an entire industry of Rube Goldberg-esque products.


It doesn't matter if you are making a smoothie, grating cheese, or glueing your pants back together, nothing symolizes the "American" ideology more than an over-engineered solution. Now we can all stand back and bask in the mighty glow of our ingenuity.


And if you place your order in the next twenty minutes, you can bask at night with the new HD Night Vision Wrap Arounds.