Playing in Traffic

Living in the nation’s fourth largest metro area, Dallas/Ft. Worth is an adventure. The most interesting part about living here is that everyone had to be somewhere twenty minutes ago. I particularly enjoy watching people doing 80 in the far left lane, realize that they are about 100 yards from their exit,then dive bomb three lanes of traffic.

Oh wait, even better is when traffic backs up on the interchanges. Someone will invariably decide that they are a little more tired of waiting than everyone else and decide to hurtle their two ton death machine down either the merging lane or the shoulder

I have become adept at figuring out who these people are before tragedy strikes. Today, it was the lady in the Land Rover, multitasking with her conference call, her Campbell’s Soup on the Go, and her bank statements. The other day, it was the guy in the Suburban, using his cell-phone to bludgeon his steering wheel, blood pressure pills flying everywhere. And I can’t take my eye off of the guy driving with his knees while double fisting a Texas Triple Whopper. Or the guy in the H2, apparently racing to the next gas station to dump a hundred more bucks in the tank. The only thing I could make out in the fuel wasting blur was a “Support the Troops” sticker. How ironic I thought.

I do live in Texas, so I wonder if I could shoot back out of self defense….